"There's No Money In That", part 1

This is the tale of my first professional acting job and what inspired to become an actor.

The phone rang, causing my heart to skip a couple of beats. I had been so caught up in my obsession of when the phone would ring that I was off my guard against the loud klaxon of the phone. That sound always makes me think there is some VP of marketing at the companies that believes these phones should sound like fire alarms solely for the purpose of giving their customers heart attacks so they have to use their product to dial 911. I’d like to take that guy and put him—

The phone rang again. Okay, dude… deep breaths, I kept telling myself. It’s just business as usual, no harm no foul, another day in the walking of the park or something like that. I reached for the handset, but hesitated as many do. What if it’s bad news? Maybe somebody died or got arrested. What if it’s like The Matrix and some creepy version of Laurence Fishburne is going to tell me my life is a lie and I’m living in a computer program as a toy for killer robots who think I’m a D-size battery and they just like to use me like everyone else—

A third ring jolted me back to reality again. I nearly slapped myself and grabbed the handset, not wanting whoever was on the other end to hang up and move on. Putting it gingerly next to my ear, I mustered all my internal strength and managed to squeak out a weak “Hello?” to the mystery guest on the other side of the electronic divide. My heart pounded in my chest as I awaited the response.